Warning, the following post may contain a slight undertone of depression.

Hey Guys, sorry i haven't posted in a while. My shit got all crazy.

So today i want to talk about something that's bugging me. I have a self esteem that is constantly in a state of flux. Every time i get to a point in my life where i finally feel at peace with who i am, i go home to visit my family and little by little they turn me back into that insecure little girl that i was before i left for college. Yes i understand the at the term is self esteem, but it's kind of hard to be comfortable with who you are when every comment that is made about you makes you feel as though you're some kind of disappointment to your family. I've never thought that I was pretty despite what people tell me because for the longest time i was always told that I'd be prettier if i was a smaller size or something along those lines. I was always made to feel like i was the ugly ducking in my family and wasn't until recently that i acknowledged that i wasn't completely ogre like. This past week was spring break and i went home feeling fairly confident about my self and comfortable with who i was until my father started picking on me about my hair and how i need to do something with it because it doesn' t look right and it just made me feel like i was a disappointment or an embarrassment to him. it was then that i came to realize that most of the time in recent years when I've started feeling bad about myself it was because of something that my father said to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to death and i know that he loves me. it's just that sometimes i wish that he would just accept me for who i am and not try to make feel like crap so that I'll become the person he wants me to be. And he's not the only person doing it but he is the main offender. Next year when i graduate college, I'm moving back home and i don't know if i can handle more of him not liking the real me.

Sometimes its best not to go back home, no matter how much you love the people there.

As always leave your comments if you want to.
LOVE, ROCKETS, AND HOT POCKETS