Heavy Reflection and the Good Friends Who Sit Through It And Tolerate Me

Hello Again! It's been awhile since we last heard from one another huh? Where do I start? For a quick update, I have moved into the final chapter of my college career, i have lost my beloved caddy and gained a town car, and i have once again overloaded myself and i wouldn't have it any other way.

Now for the reason I've decided to re-enter the blogesphere. Last night after leaving rehearsals for The Who's Tommy, I was talking to the friend almost inevitably the conversation turned to the topic of relationships. I don't remember exactly what was said on his part but I wound up purging all of my emotional baggage to him and ultimately my purging or venting wound up focusing on one guy in particular. This particualr one essentially broke my heart and stomped it into a million pieces and to this day still plays a major factor in my lack of faith on the whole relationship deal. So after having my little vent I come home and tell another friend that I ran into on the way in about my little vent (not the full extent though) and she tells me that she's been through worse and it got me thinking.

Is one person's bad luck with relationships and romance worse than someone elses? I mean honestly don't we as a society always think that what we've the expierienced, at least the negative things, are more astronomically disasterous than that of anyone else that we know? In some cases, yes, your negative expierience is worse, but only for that short while. At some point we are all going to have a mjor upset in the romance department. For some it makes them stronger and more deteremined to find love. For others it's makes them more jaded and a little less determined but still with the hope of finding something. Then you have those who are like me that have at the current moment have become so fed up and disillusioned with the whole idea that they have pretty much given up on the whole possibilty of love.

At only 22 years old, I know that i have plenty of time to find the fabled "One" that i'm supossed to feel absolutely head over ass gaga about and as it is i'm slowly comeing out of my funk. But it is still a struggle and I still have some issues to work through.

As always if you feel the urge to comment, feel free. In the meantime, LOVE, ROCKETS, AND HOT POCKETS!

REALLY CANADA?!? THAT IS SERIOUSLY MESSED UP!

http://shine.yahoo.com/beauty/miss-universe-canada-disqualifies-transsexual-contestant-she-born-192000420.html

Ok, so i'm a little pissed off right now. I just read an article about a woman who was disqualified from the miss universe canada contest because she was originally born a man. The national director of the contest said that all contestants had to be "natural born females".....ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!? WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?!? I thought we were living in a world were all people were considered equal but aparrently, we're only equal if we're the right gender. Now granted this happened in Canada but still, it's kind of fucked up. Judging by some of the comments i saw, it's obvious that many people think that you should only have actual women compete in beauty contest. Well here's the deal, if she competed in both transsexual and traditional beauty pagents before an no one else had a problem with it, THEN WHAT IS THE BIG FREAKING DEAL? She got the surgery, SHE HAS A VAGINA!!! Which makes her a woman. She took hormone thereapy, SHE HAS ESTROGEN RUNNING THROUGH HER BODY!!!! Which makes her a woman. Now this may just be my opinion and that's cool, but you have to admit it is a little messed up and outdated.

So what do you think? As always your thoughts and comments are always appreciated. Until next time!
*LOVE, ROCKETS, AND HOT POCKETS*

Warning, the following post may contain a slight undertone of depression.

Hey Guys, sorry i haven't posted in a while. My shit got all crazy.

So today i want to talk about something that's bugging me. I have a self esteem that is constantly in a state of flux. Every time i get to a point in my life where i finally feel at peace with who i am, i go home to visit my family and little by little they turn me back into that insecure little girl that i was before i left for college. Yes i understand the at the term is self esteem, but it's kind of hard to be comfortable with who you are when every comment that is made about you makes you feel as though you're some kind of disappointment to your family. I've never thought that I was pretty despite what people tell me because for the longest time i was always told that I'd be prettier if i was a smaller size or something along those lines. I was always made to feel like i was the ugly ducking in my family and wasn't until recently that i acknowledged that i wasn't completely ogre like. This past week was spring break and i went home feeling fairly confident about my self and comfortable with who i was until my father started picking on me about my hair and how i need to do something with it because it doesn' t look right and it just made me feel like i was a disappointment or an embarrassment to him. it was then that i came to realize that most of the time in recent years when I've started feeling bad about myself it was because of something that my father said to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad to death and i know that he loves me. it's just that sometimes i wish that he would just accept me for who i am and not try to make feel like crap so that I'll become the person he wants me to be. And he's not the only person doing it but he is the main offender. Next year when i graduate college, I'm moving back home and i don't know if i can handle more of him not liking the real me.

Sometimes its best not to go back home, no matter how much you love the people there.

As always leave your comments if you want to.
LOVE, ROCKETS, AND HOT POCKETS

Old Memories

Today i find myself thinking about old friends from way back in elementary and wondering what they're doing with thier lives....Think about it for a moment and then ask yourself, are you guys where you thought you'd be?

Useless Classes

Ok, so i'm all for taking classes that aren't necessarily in your degree plan, but here's the thing about that; Nine times out of ten the classes your taking are classes that you actually want to take. But what do you do if you're taking a class that's in your degree plan but IS STILL USELESS!!!???? Enter the senior level class that i am currently enrolled in. This class is only available to people in our communication, mass media, and theatre department. Why theatre is lumped in with the communication and mass media people is beyond me and best left for another rant for another day. The purpose of this class is how to prepare for an interview which would be excellent, except for the fact that it is taught by a communications professor who knows nothing about how things work in the world of theatre! I mean seriously people! I basically waste an hour and 15 minutes of my time every week 2 times a week and for what? To learn things that really have no relevance to my life. The resumes we were told to write? DON'T APPLY TO THE CAREER I HAVE CHOSEN FOR MY LIFE! It's stupid and a waste of the time i could be using for my homework or learning lines...or even exercising! (I've been meaning to but life got crazy busy). Anyways that's it for my first rant. If you're following cool, if not, feel free to. Comment and drop your own thoughts.
Love, Rockets, and Hot Pockets
LeighaD

Hey Guys!

So, i decided to start this blog as a way to be heard without fear of what anyone will say. It's hard to be heard sometimes in todays socitey but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to be heard. Now if you're looking for this to be full of philisopical discovery and intense political conversation then you're reading hte wrong blog. This is just me, post my thoughts and opinions and maybe voicing some of yours too.